Lazy Moms Rock

As many of you may know, or can have guessed, we're big into the Free Range Kid movement.  Haven't heard of it before?  Check out Lenore Skenazy's blog by clicking this link Free Range Kids.  We were already free ranging things before I read her book (which had be laughing out loud in the library), and her book & blog have made us more confirmed in the things we're doing .. and sometimes not doing.

What is so very cool about this, to me, is that it is basically an adamant stance on the issue that, generally speaking, the way kids have been raised throughout history was with freedoms we no longer allow our kids, with trust we no longer allow our children to earn, and with faith, which we no longer have in our fellow human beings.  Of course there have been horrible instances of child labor and etc throughout history as well, but in general ... don't be Debbie Downer here, ok?

For example, we live within shouting distance of three playgrounds/small parks.  We also live in a neighborhood filled with children.  Yet rarely do we see children filling up these playgrounds on beautiful days nor do we see them riding their bikes on the sidewalks, playing games with other kids, and etc.  Sure, we see adults walking, but not as many kids playing. 
When most of us were growing up however the scene was quite different.  On pretty days I remember spending afternoons up in the maple tree with my best friend, or in forts we had built among the pine trees in the back yard.  Our forts were especially cool because they had furniture in them: old car seats that we found on the curb and drug back to the fort ourselves.  At night we played "Night Games" a form of tag at night with flashlights that was played through the neighborhood, with borders being designated by so&so's house to so&so's house.  Heck, I even remember spending my Summers walking a half mile or so (ironically enough, it actually was an uphill walk too!) to the neighborhood pool, where we'd check in and spend the day - with no adults shuttling us to and fro and sitting there while we swam.  By the way, I was about in fifth grade at that time.  Now, of course, that would never happen! 

So what has happened?  Have kids just gotten a lot dumber?  Are we SO scared of every little scrape and boo-boo that every imaginable (not necessarily real) danger needs to be safeguarded against?  Forgive me please, but I thought scrapes and boo-boos were part of childhood.  Yes, I had my very large share of them too.  Yes, I was in situations that no parents want for their kids - nothing so horribly bad as where your mind likely just went, more specifically I had several close calls with cars while riding my bike.  Yet, I survived.  And, more importantly, I learned from them!  I learned not to go flying around blind corners where a car may be coming down the hill.  Heck, I learned what a blind corner was!!  I learned that kids will be on bikes, so when I am driving, I better watch out for them doing the same stupid things I did when I was little. 

As a parent now, I expect my kids to learn from their own stupid mistakes.  I expect that they will have those stupid mistakes.  I also expect that they can do a lot to help out around the house, other than watching TV and playing video games.  One of our family mottoes is "Everyone Helps" simply because we know that there is always something someone can do to pitch in and help out.

In that vein, and in the vein of children being able to actually do things rather than having them done for them, I write this blog.  Today, while I balanced my checkbook and went about other tasks that needed my attention, this was happening in the kitchen:

That would be Shannon.  Standing at the kitchen table, folding his laundry.  After he folded it all he took the basket into his room where he is responsible for putting it away.  Shannon is 8, and this is a task that it was high time he learn to do.
His younger brother, Tristan who is 5, was busy cleaning the walls while Shannon folded laundry.  Both had gotten in trouble today and had to draw from the "Bag of Death" (I'll blog about that soon enough, fear not) and Tristan drew "Clean the Walls."  So, he did.  It started at with groans but ended with pride as he decided that this also needed cleaning, and so did this, and so on.

My walls are now clean(er) and laundry has been folded.  I've had my cup of coffee and my kids know that they're capable of being valuable and contributing members of our family. 

Hoorah for Lazy Moms!!

Welcome June!

A photo of our first true harvest of the year. 2lbs 5oz of shiny, freshly picked tart cherries. We went out early this morning to gather them before the temperature began to climb to high. Tristan has a skinned knee (which necessitates being carried as much as possible and dramatically hobbling when forced to walk) from a riding tumble so he sat on the bench, an old church pew, and watched as Shannon and I worked our way around the 6 1/2' tall tree. We picked one ... yes one, single, little strawberry this year. Our black-eyed susans have spread like crazy and choked them out. So, this is our first real harvest.

June is here. I don't know where you live but, as much as I love the Summer Solstice, it does NOT mark the beginning of Summer for me. Not when we have several days of temperatures in the 90's. Nope. Summer began a while back. Whenever it got hot enough for me to crave a pool. Which, amazingly enough, we got this year. Every year we've had some form of kiddie pool and this year is only a slight exception. We've been able to move out of the driveway and into the backyard where there now sits a 15' round above ground pool. Justin's parents had an extra one and so, viola, now we have a pool. Sure, I can sit on the bottom and the water comes up to my chin but, ya know what?? I don't care!!! Because it is nice and cool!! It's a friggin' tropical paradise in my mind! I would seriously spend the majority of my time there lately if I could. Of course, once Tristan decides he routinely likes getting in the pool that'll just make the experience even better. Right now it's a battle that involves lots of tears and screaming and forcing him into a swimsuit, then sometimes literally plopping him down in the pool. He cries for a minute or so then remembers that he really LOVES playing in the pool and happily does so for a couple of hours.

The chickens aren't too thrilled about this heat though I am sure they're at least happy that we decided (wisely it seems given the heat) that after last year's HOT HOT Summer they needed more shade and so their 'winter chalet' has become their permanent home. Plus, the tractor needs rebuilding and I don't think it would've survived being hauled around the yard much longer.
But since they still aren't so happy about the heat they aren't laying quite as productively as they had been. We've had a couple of no-egg days. Though, when I went out to gather yesterday's eggs this morning (yea, I forgot yesterday, it happens) I found Patti nesting on the floor of the coop. I leaned in there and forced her off. She was sitting on 3 eggs. I am hoping they are not that old. I don't think they are, and I know they're fine outside the fridge for quite a while on their own anyways.
So .. it's Tally Time!!

May Egg Tally: 79 eggs (only three less than in April)
Year To Date Egg Tally: 349

Still pretty sweet!!

Also going on around here ... hmm, let's see. Shannon is in the process of doing his first year of end of the year testing required for homeschooling. Justin is the one handling this as I have a lot of issues with the whole thing. Plus, it allows him to have some more direct involvement with their schooling and that is good.
Tristan just finished up Story Time at the local library for the year and this Summer we'll be sending in his first NOI for kindergarten.
We've finally got a logo for our brewery, which is pretty sweet. If you want, take a second and go check it out http://soulonebrewery.blogspot.com. We've even been able to get some merchandise for it already which is really cool. I'll post the photos of that stuff on that blog as soon as I can.
You may have noticed the profile photo change on here. Finally a photo of me with dreads!! My dreads are already 6 months old now. Yes, people with dreads talk about "how old their dreads are." Dreads are an on-going thing. They change as they age. It's cool. Except in Summer, when your dreads reach down the middle of your back. Then it's pretty darn hot. High ponytails have become a staple for me. But, again, here is where dreads can be fun. You can wrap up a pretty massive bun if you've got the length for it (I do!). You can tie your hair up in an updo using one or two of your dreads ~ try that with a pencil!! I have been known to wear mine up in high pigtails using only the dreads themselves to secure them. Plus there are wraps and bandanas and etc to wrap them up with. That's always really fun.
And, finally, a reason why I haven't been posting on here as much. I've taken on more work with the Main Street Newspapers. I now do at least a feature a week for The Vinton Messenger and the Cave Spring Connection papers. I also do here & there stuff for The Salem Times Register. ALSO - I'm now doing a lot of online stuff for them. You can check them out at http://www.ourvalley.org
It's really, really cool and something I love doing. I finally am getting paid to write. Very cool. However, it is also a huge adjustment period for me. Being able to work from home means I can work whenever, but it also means I need to learn to decided when exactly that whenever might be, and (very importantly) when it isn't.
So, to try and implement this, this morning here is what I've done: picked cherries, weighed cherries, gotten sourdough bread going, fed the sourdough starter, fed the kefir, got the dishes going, fed dogs, gathered eggs, done the tallies, BLOGGED!, sent kids to their rooms for fighting, and then let them play outside once they've decided their done fighting. No, I haven't gotten my shower yet (be glad you can't smell me through the computer I suppose), but I'll get to that shortly. And I've only checked work email through the phone, where I haven't replied, just looked at one email. :)

And there is the beginning of our Summer here. How is your's going?

Other than chickens ..

I am actually really mad at AOL and blogging right now. I just spent quite a while working on a chicken update blog when AOL froze up. I thought the blog was all saved, I was in the process of publishing the post when the complete freeze-up occurred, but alas, only a smidgen of it was saved. *A MIGHTY GRRRRRRR*
I thought about trying to rewrite it, but then realized that this is maybe a sign. You know, I CAN talk about things other than chickens. Did you know that? I think most people have forgotten that.
So, things other than chickens. Where to start?

First, attending the City's Comprehensive Plan Meeting this past Thursday was actually fun. Which is something I never thought I would find myself saying. I was never interested in politics or government in school. But I liked it, just like I like attending City Council meetings. It is interesting to see how the City works and the meeting on Thursday was even better. They were seeking public input for how the future of Salem should go. How cool is that?? We talked about things like more street-scaping, tighter form control on how new buildings should look, the possibility of a downtown grocery store or at least an upscale grocery store. It was really interesting!

Let's see .. what else?? Oh yea, the kids!!

Educationally speaking, Shannon's been working on his math skills. On his own. Still using beans to count. I'm impressed and proud.
Tristan has been working on letters and the sounds they make. His sense of humor often tops his desire to answer correctly. It's funny, and I am very glad he's not in school (same with Shannon) where this sense of humor would be quickly pounded out of him.

Non-educationally speaking, they're still boys. Here is the latest "You've got to be kidding me" moment:
We're at the local Burger King's indoor playground last Monday, meeting up with other homeschoolers to play inside since it was raining out. Usually the place is dead but this time it was packed, which was good since there were more kids to meet and play with.
Eventually though the boys declared that they both had to pee. In an effort to encourage them to be responsible on their own I've been letting them to go this particular bathroom on their own. I can see it from the room and feel safe. I tell Shannon to keep an eye on his brother, to watch out for him, and to make sure that they pee in a stall. I am not worried about them using a urinal except that, since they are still young they both just still drop drawers down to ankles. Not that I think perverts are lurking in all bathrooms but, till they learn to be more discreet using a stall is wiser for all. So, off they go.
A few minutes later and elderly employee pokes his head into the playroom. Remember, the room is FULL and I am sitting on the far side. He asks "Whose kids are in the bathroom?"
"Mine" I reply.
"You might want to come watch them and keep an eye on them" he says.
"Why, are they causing a problem?" I ask.
"They're in there NAKED" he replies laughing.
..... across the FULL room of parents. I get up, walk across the full room, into the restaurant area, across that, to the bathroom, and gently push the men's bathroom door open. There are my boys, fully dressed, finishing washing & drying off their hands like good little boys.
Shannon informed me that he used the stall but that Tristan refused and wanted to use the urinal. I know they both don't really know about shutting doors and privacy issues, they're little kids still.
Not really a big deal, just an embarrassing moment parenting-wise. Murphy's Law rears it's head once again.

And finally, around the ole urban homestead (which is a term I will continue to use).
Recent planting include a forsythia bush and a Black Knight Butterfly Bush. We put the forsythia in the corner of the fence nearest VL's house for several reasons. 1) It will block her view into our yard as it grows (which it should do quickly!). 2) Since she planted cypress trees along the fence line (also to block her view) this helps continue the theme of the living hedge/fence line, which I love. I hate our chain link fence and would love to have it hidden in something living and green. 3) I love forsythia bushes. Their bright and beautiful and a wonderful way to welcome Spring. 4) More wildlife!! ~ Talk about your win-win-win situations!!
The butterfly bush we planted on an edge of the deck, in between the steps and the fence/gate at the driveway. Again, as it grows it will help hide unseemly things, it will increase wildlife & beauty, and this variety is known for being fragrant, which should make hanging out on the deck more pleasant!
We took the pond out. The pump had been turned off over winter and the water had mostly been frozen. Of course, as soon as it unfroze the dogs took the opportunity to jump into the now-stagnant water. The smell was awful and required immediate baths for both dogs. Layla fits into the tub easily, but Foster is another situation entirely. A 10 1/2 month old English Mastiff, 136lbs, IN THE TUB .. getting a bath. It should've been a Marx Brothers or 3 Stooges comedy reel.
So the pond is out and is going to, for the time being, going to be a butterfly garden. I've signed up for Salem's "tulip list" once again. I'll also likely visit the VA's nursery to pick up some plants.
And .. plants!! We still haven't ordered seeds for the garden so, as usual, we're running behind on that task. But I will order them soon, and then we'll just have to figure out a way to keep the kids and dogs out of the seedlings so they can grow.

And there we go ... something other than chickens to talk about!

To the Doctor!

Tristan woke up in the middle of the night last night claiming his ear hurt. We gave him some Tylenol and hoped he had just slept on it wrong. My gut told me this wasn't the case, but I remained hopeful. Sure enough, his ear hurt worse this morning. So I made the dreaded call to the doctor's office to get him an appointment.

We got there and waited. Luckily there weren't that many kids there and I think we only had to wait 4 hours instead of the usual 4 days. Or so the kids seemed to think of the wait.
We got into the examining room and waited. The kids read books and complained. At the same time .. they're multi-talented like that.


Our beloved doctor finally came in. He was the pediatrician to both myself and Justin along with our siblings and my cousins. I don't always agree with him but I trust him.
He began looking Tristan over. It was an ear infection. Left ear was nasty and right ear was getting it too. There could have been no infection yesterday morning, this was a quick acting, nasty little bug. He patted Tristan on the belly and announced that he "has the crud."
He looked at me and asked if he'd been sick. I told him he'd had a cold and was taking a while to fight it completely off. He's like me, things can linger. He looked at me and asked how long he'd had it.
"I dunno, a while?"
"How long?"
"A couple of weeks?"

I hate that look. I really hate that look. It's that look that says "What kind of mother are you that you let your child be sick for weeks and didn't bring him to the doctor?!?" ... Um .. because he wasn't really sick the whole time??
That look says he doesn't believe me. I hate that look.

About the time that Tristan was 7 months old he had gotten a bad diaper rash which meant I had to go to the doctor.
It was a bad day from the beginning. He had peed through his cloth diaper the night before and I had bathed him clean in the sink. Apparently though I didn't get his head well enough and by the end of the day he .. well, smelled like a pee-head.
The appointment was late in the day, meaning we had a long, long wait. He was hungry, not feeling too happy, and whiny ~ it was the international melt-down hour. My pee-head son was NOT his happy-go-lucky self.

The nurse called us back and we went into the examining room. I had to undress him down to his diaper to be weighed and measured. I took him to the scales. Pee-head sat there a little more content. It was then the nurse noticed the scabby-like marks on his back.
"WHAT ARE THESE!?!?"
"Bite marks??"
~umm .. I think she about fell over at this point. I'm pretty certain her mouth did hit the floor and her eyes popped out of her skull~
"Look, he has an older brother who is 2 1/2. He keeps biting him. We're working on getting him to stop" I tried reassuring her and explaining the true situation to her.
"Oh. Yea, I had a biter too." Now she was talking to me like the mom she truly was.

So we go back into the room and wait for the doctor. Not our beloved doctor, another doc we'd never seen who was on call and seeing people who were making the last minute appointments.
He came in and looked the diaper rash over.
"How long has he had the rash?"
"Well, he's had the rash for a while, but it started getting worse so I brought him in."
"How long has he had it??"
"I dunno, a week or two??"
There was that damn look again.
And my kid had healing bite marks on his back.
And he had Pee-Head.
And, as the doctor soon told me, he had a "regular" diaper rash that had then gotten infected. He gave me a prescription for some cream. I went out of there, my little Pee-Head tightly in my arms, as quickly as I could. I was certain they would call Social Services.

I hate those damn looks. I don't like running to the doctor immediately over every little thing. Which means we give things the unthinkable .. TIME to heal on their own (or with a little a little over the counter medicine, etc). But, when I finally take him into the doc, they give me that damn look. I also NEVER know the EXACT moment my kids get sick. Sorry, but I don't keep that stuff jotted down.

I hate that damn look.

Kid Stuff & Being a Mom

There are definite "you know you're a Mom when" moments.

Like when you find yourself at the end of your rope, mad with despair, cursing to yourself "who keeps putting my spoon in with the other spoons?!?!" .. and you're dead serious. Damnit, don't they know my tea spoon doesn't go in with the other spoons??? I am trying to seek my almighty moment of Zen, I'm being good and not drinking coffee (or rum), so where the hell is my tea spoon?!?!??!

Yea .. that was definitely a moment.


Not all moments induce such madness. Sometimes you have to learn to laugh at it. Like when you walk past your kids' room as see this

and it isn't even 9:30 in the morning yet. Actually, I snapped this photo and sent a copy of it to Justin, with the message of how I know he doesn't think I make the kids clean up at all during the day .. so here. He was shocked and wanted to know when the photo was taken. I told him that not only was that mess done this morning but that yesterday they made a mess of that equivalence a couple times over. ~ They have to clean up for lunch so that gives them plenty of chances to try and out-do their morning mess level later in the day.
I laughed about this one. They did clean it all up before lunch.

I happened to be walking by the living room yesterday morning and overheard this from Shannon - Tristan, see these towers I'm building?? When you see these towers Tristan you're eyes are gonna SPARKLE!!! And you're gonna say "Who built these towers" (my note, he said that in a voice filled with awe .. no joke) and I'm gonna say "I just can't bear to tell you." (my note again, that one was said like it was the heaviest of burdens)
He kept repeating this over and over to Tristan.

And then some afternoons, as I am trying to get dinner ready, scenes like this occur:

4pm - Shannon, with great pride - Mommy, see what I can do with Foster! (sets rope toy on table) - Ok Foster, I'm not going to give you your treat yet. (begins gently pulling dog's tail around the dog, making dog chase his tail) See Mommy, I can make him chase his tail!! Ok Foster, now you can have your treat. - (to me) Sometimes he chases his tail himself and sometimes he needs help chasing his tail.

-5:20pm - I am beginning to make dinner. Tristan opens the cabinet doors beneath the sink, looks in & asks "How come that leads to the basement??" (it doesn't), Foster leans in and looks too, apparently wondering the same thing.

OK.

Or I turn around to see a battle scarred cowboy straddling a butter knife next to a severed foot on my kitchen island. You think I am joking. I'm not.

And you just sigh....