Monday, December 13, 2010

Why are you shocked?

A local incident has gathered nationwide media attention when a young girl went missing recently. She was safely found on the opposite coast. When she went missing Amber Alerts went out and her photo went up. She is 12 and looks much older. A lot of people have started talking for that reason. They are shocked.

I am NOT writing about just this girl in general here. I am deliberately not using her name for that very reason. This is by no means commentary on this personal girl. It is just something that many people are aware of and talking about & so it brings up the issue of young girls looking much older than they are.

And, in talking about it recently, someone asked me "Why would a 12 year old girl want to look 18?" ~ Obviously, a guy asked me this. If you're a female you've already responded "Why WOULDN'T they?!?"

Generations of women will attest to attempts to look older. The desire to actually be older. I'm sure generations of men will as well, but it is the females I'm talking about here.
I know I did. However, since my mother is known to read this, I will spare details to cover my own, now-grown hide.

What makes it all so shocking though is how very "grown-up" girls today now look. And by that I mean that they are oozing sexuality. And not in the good, wholesome kinda way. In the "how much for an hour" kinda way. I'm sure to some extent adults have always said this about younger generations, but it seems more prevalent now. Why??

Hmm .. good question. Let's think on that. What could POSSIBLY be giving these girls the idea that looking like whores is good? Hmm ....

This is 'Red Riding Hood Barbie.' I don't know about you, but this isn't what I remember Red Riding Hood looking like!! YIKES!!! I'm pretty certain that wolf there has money in his hand.

Don't get me wrong though, I'm not laying the blame completely at Barbie's 4" ho heels.

What I am saying is that if you give your children toys to play with and those toys look like street-walkers, then don't be shocked if your children grow up looking like street-walkers too. If you let them play video games full of violence, trampy looking female characters, and so on .. don't be surprised when the kids grow up desensitized to violence and without healthy perspectives of how adults should look .. much less act. If you buy them clothes that don't cover their bodies properly ~ and I'm not talking about anything too prudish here when I say properly, I'm saying more along the lines of 'ass not hanging out' kind of properly ... well, duh .. you're kids are gonna look like whores. Or at least people are going to likely think so.
If you raise your kids thinking you have a great relationship with them and you're judging that based on the fact that y'all are "best buds" .. well, then you're very misguided and don't be so shocked when your child tries to act like an adult rather than a child.

The responsibility lies with the parents. Sure, kids will still do things that we tell them not to, often simply because we tell them not to. But, you still have to do your job as a parent. Especially while they're still young enough that you can control most the things they do & see.

So .. why are you so shocked?


Carole and Chewy said...

Great post Miz Carrie - I saw the pics too. Girls are developing earlier and earlier and some say its because of all the chemicals in our water/food. Nevertheless, if your daughter is twelve and is built like a Spice Girl, you don't send her out in a tight V-neck t-shirt....Of course there's the chance that her mother sent her out in 12 year old clothes and she changed once out of sight and then had a friend take the pics (not like I'd know anything about that...)but still....

Christy F. said...

Love this post. It is so true. As a young teen, I also tried to look "older", but my mother tried her best to keep me from with me, not letting me wear make-up (which I snuck anyway and applied on the school bus), but she tried. I completely agree that the media and children's toys, video games, etc. are desensitizing our kids. I have friends with tweens/teens who say it is hard to find "decent" clothes, that the fashions are low cut, too tight, too short, too sexy, etc.

Nikki said...

Very late to the party here, but as a Barbie collector, I feel the urge to say that the Red Riding Hood Barbie shown was a Silver Label (only 25,000 made) doll made for adult collectors, not a playline doll. I'm not saying that there's no merit to your point, just making a clarification. Also, I think parents can still influence their kids in matters like this. It just takes open discussion on both ends, sensible guidelines, and a willingness to bend on some issues when necessary.