To Smart Phone or Not to Smart Phone?

What would The Dude do??

In high school I was able to get my own phone line. Not just a phone in my room, but my own friggin' phone number. For a high school girl, who happens to be very chatty, this was like the Golden Ticket. ~ That was cool.

I'll admit to having owned a beeper for a while too. In the days before cell phones, this is what you owned. Looking back on it, it was really stupid. I mean, there weren't cell phones and if you were out somewhere and your mother paged you then you had to hunt here and there for a pay phone (and change for it), all while your mother gets angrier and angrier the longer it takes you to return her call. People paged you with "911" when it couldn't have been less of an emergency. And, we TRIED texting. Think all the abbreviations in texting world are confusing now? You shoulda seen it when we had to use numbers!! ~ Ok, an aside here because, dude, doesn't that just sound like a "You know nothin' youngster. When I was your age and we wanted to text we had to use numbers because they didn't have letters like they do now!!" ~ So, the beeper was, and remains, a joke. Unless you're a doctor or somebody.

A decade ago when I moved back from Charleston, SC and was temporarily living in my Dad's basement, I got a cell phone. It made sense. Minutes were limitless. Ahh .. it's like the 60's and Free Love, but instead it was the 00's and I had Free Minutes. But, it did make sense. I spent very little time at home and, still being rather chatty, this enabled me to go forth and chat as much as I pleased.
I don't remember texting coming along for another 3 years or so. And then it was on a green-lit screen in little black type. Kinda like old computers, but in reverse. And it wasn't a big deal. It was fun, but most people didn't text. Oooh .. another ala the 60's moment of naughtily asking "so, do you ... text?"
~ But the overall look-back of those days was that the cell phone was worth it. Though it always has bothered me that it starts with the word "cell", like I'm imprisoned or something.

After Shannon came along and I began staying at home, our need for a cell phone disappeared. I mean, I was home. If Justin wasn't here he was at work. If he wasn't at work he was on his way to or from or perhaps at lunch. We could handle not being able to reach each other for those time periods.
After Tristan came along we still didn't need a cell phone. But then, my mom & stepdad began being our go-to babysitters. And they couldn't always reach us. And come Summertime and with it staying light a lot longer you can accidentally let several hours go by wherein you're suddenly several hours late picking up your kids and your mother, who isn't prone to worrying or hysterics or anything at all like that, thinks you're in a ditch dead somewhere and begins filing the adoption papers so she can keep the kids. ... Well, sorta. You get the idea.
A cell phone was forced upon us. To tell you how much we resisted and fought the notion, we actually "inherited" my 90 year old grandfather's cell phone. Apparently it did him little good because he just kept it in a drawer all the time. So Mom repo'd it from him and hoisted it upon us.

Now the world has changed and everyone has a cell phone. I do find myself using it a lot. You can't call people, they don't want to be bothered. For those of you on my daily "gotta chat with" list I apologize for being such a pest, know that you are loved dearly, and well, please don't quit talking to me I might go nuts. But, the rest of you! HA!! The rest of you can't be bothered with phones!!!
OR EMAIL!! Who has the time to check email?? There are so many of them too!!! It's overwhelming!!
Then, a somewhat geeky savior came along. We weren't sure about him at first because the colors were bland, but then we came around. That's right FACEBOOK.
Facebook became THE way to connect and stay in touch. You could find everyone and talk with them!! But, that's the problem isn't it? Everyone found you. And they want to talk. About everything. Every .. single .. stupid .. inane .. thought that comes out of their swelled heads. ~ I would be just as guilty of this as everyone else, but face it, all my thoughts are worthy of being saved as magnets and bumper stickers and just generally dipped in gold. Really.
But, since most people have just become a pest and there are enough invites on Facebook to make you miss having to actually mail the damn things, people have begun ignoring Facebook too.

NOW if you want to talk to someone you have to text them. In fact, there was a recent comic strip that joked how if you want to talk to someone you have to text them to let them know that you will be calling them. Not far from the truth.
AND .. there is an app for EVERYTHING!


When we went on vacations last year we did use the online access available with our cell phone. Being out of town and in places with out of date phone books and etc, it did make it helpful. But our phone is now a dinosaur among phones. I wish it could be as cool as having an actual fossil, but I think my phone is more comparable to coprolite. Ya know, fossilized poop. Though I believe coprolites are more valuable than my current cell phone. Maybe I should pour tree sap around my cell phone and allow it to sit and harden for several thousand years. Then it might be worth something again. In fact, I may just have myself buried that way. Surely that would REALLY mess with some folks thousands of millions of years from now ... right???

But, I digress, and in that digression I probably show that I really don't need a smart phone. Or do I? I tried comparing my phone with current smart phones to, well, umm, shop smartly for a smart phone? I pretty much got laughed at, and not in the way I usually like. In the "HA!! You can't compare THAT to THIS!!! HA!" snotty sales clerk who knows everything about smart phones kinda way.
Then I went to a different store. There I met a sales clerk who reminded me of Holt from the Cleveland Show, only taller. "Nope you do NOT want this. It's JUNK. HATE IT! You want this!" ~ Ok, dude, you might've thought you were gaining my trust by telling me this, but really you seemed like a douche. And playing Bob Marley in your store didn't make you any cooler.

I really didn't like feeling like I was just trying to be upsold. I'd be much more comfortable if the sales clerk sat down with me, had a few drinks, and said "Dude, what do you really want to do?" And then we could figure this whole thing out together.

But it doesn't work like that. And all I know is that I liked being able to access a couple things on the web. And I like a couple of the apps. Mostly the really stupid ones like the one with the talking cat. And I'm scared of the Droid phones because I'm scared of robots and androids and my main question if I were to get one of those would be about "Can I change it to say something else other than DROID?? Cuz that really creeps me out." Actually, I don't think I could get a Droid phone, it creeped me out too much just touching it. (And yes, I know they mostly all use Android technology, but that's on the inside and much easier to overlook)

Do I need all these GB?? I don't want to watch movies on my cell phone, that's why I have the man cave-ish living room! I would like to be able to take better quality photos with my cell phone than I currently can, but being a freelance photographer I still want to do the majority of my photos with .. ya know .. my cameras!

So, Dude, I just don't know. I really don't. But I would love to hear your thoughts. So, please, leave me a message and tell me what you think. Do you own a smart phone? Are you uber-hip or are you a quasi-Luddite? Do you really use it for all it's worth?

Earth Day Anger

~photo borrowed from http://www.geardiary.com/2009/04/22/celebrate-earth-day/~

Earth Day is upon us once again and normally I would be full of mirth and merriment but instead, today, I'm just pissed off. I know, I know ... I mean, look at me, at our lives, this should be like our Christmas or something, right? Wrong!

So, why am I pissed off? Let's start with the 'More, More, MORE Orgasm' shall we? Supposedly being frugal is now chic. It's hip to save money and companies have responded with a Pavlovian drool response that rivals my dogs'. Groupon. Shortcut.com. Daily Deal. And on and on. At first these things didn't seem so bad. Kinda cute, good deals, yada yada. But now? C'mon man!!! Most of the coupons that you would use in the store are for Frankenfoods that you really wouldn't want to put in your body if you took a second glance at the reality of them. And, these Daily Deal coupons? Ok, not all of them require 'TODAY ONLY!' but a lot of them do. And, you know what, I don't need your shit today! In fact, do I need it at all????
The reality is that these coupons & deals are an attempt to get us to buy more crap. More crap that we likely don't need. Confining it to one day means we have to find a way to acquire that money NOW, meaning we're likely to be spending unwisely: on credit, in lieu of something that is an actual need, etc. This isn't being frugal. This is the exact opposite of it.

Second Gripe: I feel like we have less and less say over our own lives. Even when we own a spot of space of our own there are more and more rules about what we can, or more accurately, CAN NOT do with it. Yea, there's a good chance we'll get to keep our chickens. But should this have been something we've had to fight so hard for and that others are having to fight harder for? Should there be rules that forbid you to hang your laundry to dry? What type of gardens you can plant and where? I mean, what the fuck?
We have spread out and spread out and spread out some more, and in the process we've taken away the ability to provide for ourselves. Food HAS to be imported in because ya certainly can't grow it here!!!! You know, there was a time when you could go out to eat and ask how your food was raised. Not just cooked, but RAISED. Sadly, nowadays you're lucky if they know how it is cooked (and even then you're likely limited to baked, fried, grilled, or broiled - just that, nothing more). As to where it was before it was cooked? In the freezer or walk-in. Before that? On a truck.
If you want to drink good milk it's gonna come from between 45 minutes away and an hour away. And your choices here are extremely limited. Raw milk is illegal. At first you might think this isn't so bad, right? Wrong. Am I not intelligent enough to be able to decide for myself what to consume? Apparently so. This kind of reminds me of Robin Hood. Where it's illegal to hunt for wild animals because they all belong to the King.

And, finally, for the same reason I was so pissed off about Earth Day in high school: Earth Day Whores. Because, and I am quoting what I said to my chemistry class in high school here, you twits don't give a shit about it any other day of the year, you're just doing all this right now for another "look at me" opportunity. The week leading up to Earth Day it becomes a pep-rally orgy of banners and slogans and other cutesy crap. How much "Earth Day 2011" crap was sold this year? Really? Did we need to create so much more junk? Is that really celebrating the earth?
In some of the photos I saw today there was one on a beach in Florida from Earth Day 2009. 4,000 pounds were used to create a colored sand sculpture that spelled out "SAVE OUR EARTH". It was pretty, so were those stupid banners. It was so big that well, hmmm ..... where could you REALLY get a good view of it???? Oh!!! I know!!! THE SKY!!!!! HELLO MEDIA OPPORTUNITY!!!!!

Unless of course they're trying to talk to possible aliens in space. And, should that be the case, I'm pretty certain those aliens would agree with that cartoon up top.


PS ~ Just in case, I feel I need to clarify something. If you've read this and you read my above rant about Earth Day Whores, I am not calling YOU specifically one. That "you twits" statement was something I said in high school. And THEY were twits. But you ... well, you read this, so likely you're pretty friggin' awesome.

Conversations with Sam Elliott

We all seek guidance from time to time, and it is well acknowledged that the devine is within us. I'm not sure who you talk to when you talk to the devine, but I'm usually talking to Sam Elliott. Don't ask me why, I'm not really sure. It's just that he was really, really hot in Roadhouse and he seems pretty wise in general, and has a wonderfully soothing voice.

Me - Dear Sam Elliott, I'm really feeling lost today.

Sam Elliott - Why are you addressing me? You aren't writing a letter. I'm right here, just talk. It's no wonder you're lost if you can't tell whether or not you are talking or writing.

Me - True. But, technically I am writing this all down ...

Sam Elliott - Well, go on then darling.

Me - I am feeling lost today. I need to go to the grocery store but I am worried about how much I will end up spending.

Sam Elliott - You're bothering me for this?

Me - Well, I am concerned about money! That's a fair concern to have. I mean how am I ..

Sam Elliott, cutting me off - Hey hey hey now. Have you looked around lately? Have you seen how many other people are hurtin'? Don't you think you have it pretty good comparatively speakin'?

Me - True. You're right, I do have it pretty good.

Sam Elliott - So, why are you workin' yourself up in a fit about this?

Me - I just wish I could do more. I wish I could contribute more.

Sam Elliott - Justin would say that if you want to contribute more you should offer to have sex more frequently...

Me - Hey!! We're not talking about Justin here. We're talking about me.

Sam Elliott - Just sayin'..

Me - Yea, well, who's side are you on?

Sam Elliott - Sex is always good, I don't mind being on either side. You should try that more often.

Me - What? You do know people are going to read this don't you? I mean, geez, my mom might read this!

Sam Elliott - Are you trying to say your mom doesn't like sex?

Me - No, she does. Wait, why am I talking with you about my mother and sex?!!? I'm trying to talk to you about money.

Sam Elliott - Sex & money ... those two conversations have always gone hand in hand together.

Me - Quit it! Sam Elliott - Just sayin' ..

Ok - so apparently Sam Elliott is just being a silly pervert today. Do any of y'all have these problems when trying to have a serious conversations with your inner-divineness?

Sam Elliott - Don't call me your "inner-divineness" please, that sounds a little too girly for my tastes.

Me - Ok ... fine. What do you want me to call you?

Sam Elliott - Stick with 'Sam Elliott' I don't think we're close enough yet for anything else.

Me - Really?

Sam Elliott - Yea, you gotta earn it.

Me - *sigh* fine.

Sam Elliott - Don't worry darling, it's almost Friday.

Me - And that means what to me?

Sam Elliott - I don't know. You can always watch 'Roadhouse' again and see if that helps.

Hello Spring?

Just as we in Southwestern Virginia were beginning to enjoy sunny days with temperatures in the mid to upper 60's we have been brought crashing back down into reality by daytime highs in the 40's and the occasional snow shower. Forget the capris, sunglasses, & sandals!! Now we're all running around in UGGs and jackets, freaking out about our flowering fruit trees, blooming flowers, and gardens!!! OH THE TRAVESTY!!!!! Just last week Tristan and I were playing on the playground while Shannon had his soccer practice. Tristan was in shorts and a t-shirt, though it was still a little cool so early in the morning. This past Saturday though?? FREEZING!!! Ok, maybe not freezing. But 40 degrees and there was a breeze. So, close enough for us all to be bundled up. I hadn't made Tristan wear a jacket, I had let him go out (actually, Justin did this, it's all his fault. If you're going to report me to Child Protective Services for this, blame him first) with just a hoodie sweatshirt on. Well .. obviously that and a shirt underneath and jeans and socks, shoes, and underwear. All in that order knowing Tristan. Still though, he was cold. I had brought a looped scarf (a long cowl?) with me in case I got cold. I had been wearing it but was worried about Tristan being cold. I asked him if he wanted to wear it. He said he did.

No, that's not an Ewok from one of the Star Wars movies (though oddly and off-topically enough, Foster does do an impressive Chewbacca impersonation!). That's Tristan. He looks like a cross between an Ewok & a Babushka. With a playground ball.

Spring, I don't know where you've gone to but I'm ready for you to come back. But, till then, I'm bundling us all up a little bit better!

Signs of Spring

Everyone has their different particular signs that Spring is officially here. Maybe it is trees beginning to bud and blossom.

This is one of our redbud trees.


Our Bradford Pear tree, suddenly going into full bloom!

In the foreground you can see our newest fruit tree, a sweet cherry variety called 'Sweetheart' (under which Jomo's belongings are buried), in the back ground you can see the lilac that my great-grandmother planted full of buds and ready to bloom.

Maybe your sign that Spring is here is the flowers that begin popping up.

The daffodils we planted when we first moved in. The tulips were originally planted by my great-grandmother. We've moved them around in the yard, letting them regain their health and begin to blossom once again!

Perhaps your sign is when seeds are started for Summer's gardens.


We found this little mini-greenhouse at our local Lowe's for $39. It's exciting to try out and we're full of high hopes.

Heck, maybe your sign of Spring is the chicken's return to the yard and green grass!


But here one of my official signs. It is when my dogs go from lounging about the house like this:


To insisting, at the very least, on lounging in the sun-warmed back hallway where they can catch a nice breeze every now & then.


That is one of my most official signs, along with the kids' insistence on being outdoors playing as much as the possibly can.

What are your signs?

Twilight Zone

*PRE-BLOG WARNING: This post contains some political opinions and cussing. Proceed at your own caution*

Facebook is a funny beast. You can find old friends, re-ignite long dead relationships, and meet new friends. You can also meet some really interesting people. This is one such story.

I had sent a friend request to someone I had known in high school, for privacy sake let's call him "DA". We had several similar friends (including a family member). He accepted my request. But, last night he sent me a message on facebook asking who I was and how I knew him. I told him we went to school together. DA replied that he didn't keep up with the past. I mentioned how I had seen him not to long ago, out and about. Then I went and looked at his page. His profile picture was in costume, but when I looked at his other photos I realized I didn't know him. I knew someone else with the same name. I laughed and told him of my error, apologizing and telling him I would remove him as a friend since we didn't know each other. He told me that I didn't have to and started chatting with me. We chatted till I had to leave for dinner.

Today I posted this status: Another tray of seeds are in the greenhouse! Heirloom banana peppers, miniature chocolate bell peppers, habanero peppers, basil, melons, and various varieties of heirloom tomatoes!! :)

This is now where we begin to enter the Twilight Zone.

DA sends me a private message a couple minutes after I post that, with the subject line being "LOL". Here is a copy of the messages back and forth between us, which I have NOT edited AT ALL:

DA: I can get that stuff at subway and not worry about taking the time to plant that shit

Me: Yea, but that shit you get is grown in & covered with chemicals. Our stuff is grown organically, enriches our soil, provides habitats & food for wildlife (bees, etc), nourishes our bodies and soul and etc, etc, etc. So there. ;P hee hee

DA: you probably voted for obama... didnt you!

Me: Ah-yup. :D

DA: his ass is out here soon, a bush will be back soon, thank god, I hope all you liberal mf love the change

Me: Hahaha, I take it you don't give a damn about politics, do you? :)

DA: i give a damn, thats mf goes on and does his bullshit thing, hes a nig in the office that has spent more money and doesnt to a mf thing

Me: Compared to Bush who did SO much good?? Or compared to the mind-numbing idiocy of Palin? Or compared to soo many things several Republicans are now trying to push regarding women's rights??

DA: fk him and his 4 years, so glad that son of a bitch is out soon
DA: its always something but republicans and myself dont have shit, oh and by the way I am a fan of sarah, she is down to earth, good hearted women

Me: Dude, you're completely entitled to your opinion. I don't care if you're a Republican. I don't vote by party and don't consider myself aligned with any party. I've voted for both sides. Frankly, I think most people in power are all the same, regardless of party. But, do me a favor will ya, if you're going to cuss then cuss. At least have the balls to type it out properly. I won't offend. ;)

DA: I dont have a problem about cussing

Me: you just can't type it? :)

DA: yeah I can and how do you like those fucking gas prices now obama... get what you vote for and the goddamn health care, nice vote i tell ya

Me: Umm .. I'm guessing you've forgotten 2008 when gas prices hit bottom. Ole GW was still in charge then. Regarding health care, our system has been fucked up for a LONG time. But, then again, I don't care for Western medicine. And, again, look at what a lot of Republicans are pushing now regarding women's health care rights. And, just an fyi, if the Democrats were pushing such atrocities, I would be just as outraged.

DA: your a hippy what else can I say
DA: maybe a tree hugger too??

Me: If you say so. But I DID attend the most recent Republican party meeting held in Salem.

DA: good for you

Me: Thank you. I was talking to them because they support my current cause. Habeeb and Ralph Smith were there. I talked before they did. I was even nice enough to wear my dreads pulled back in a ponytail. Didn't want to freak them out too much. :)

DA: ya think

Me: I think what?

DA: with your smoked up dreads.. Im sure it smelled nice

Me: My dreads smoked up?? There's an assumption! But I did smell nice. I always smell nice. Friggin' golden, dude.

DA: I can just tell by talking to you , Im not a dude you hippy, you take care, Iam done talking with you

Me: Later then, man. :)
Me: Wait, if you're not a dude then are you a chick?

This conversation lasted a little over an hour. I was laughing during it and I assumed he was too, given the randomness of it all and the fact that his original subject line had been "LOL." I figured when he said he was done talking with me that he was off to do something else. NOPE. He de-friended me!!! I was dumbfounded but not the least bit offended or hurt.

To me this is like walking up to someone you think you know, tapping them on the shoulder and saying hi, only to realize you're mistaken and don't know then. You apologize and try to excuse yourself, but they start chatting you up. So, you talk to them. Then, suddenly they start getting mad at you and storm off in a huff, leaving you wander if you really are drunk or high or something and the people with you "Wait, did you just see that?" because you begin to wonder if the whole thing was real or not.

Totally TWILIGHT ZONE. And worth the laugh that it has given me. I hope you can get a laugh out of it too. If not, I guess I'm sorry you read this far? :)

In my head .. again

No doom this time though. Whew.

I live in my head a lot. It makes the world much nicer. In my head our house is situated on at least 500 acres of land. The gardens are large and abundant. It's a step back in history to slightly before the time our house was actually built.

This morning I am in my head once again. Not on my 500 acres though. I am out roaming around the world. I am in my VW Westy, which someday I will actually own.

I am rolling out of it, foggy headed & with wild dreads, and I am ambling over to the campfire. Stirring the coals back around, starting back up a small fire so that I can cook breakfast. Hmm .. I think this morning's breakfast is definitely bacon & potato hash. Smoke from the burning wood drifts into the VW and swirls about inside like incense.

What will the day hold for me? Where will we wander about? We are free today to do as we please. Laugh, drink, sing, roam, explore ... imagining all the possibilities.


In reality, I hear beer bottles clinking outside. Today our Belgian Blonde Ale will get bottled. The beer is calling to me heavily already this morning. Some Sundays are perfect for sitting out on the deck and sipping on beers.

Yesterday was good. We moved the chickens back to the yard and cleaned out their Winter Chalet. We set up the new mini-greenhouse and started some seeds. We were outdoors most of the day and it was magnificent.
Justin has had a beef roast going in the crockpot since yesterday and the aroma of it is driving me out of my mind. I think I my drooling could compete with the Mastiff's.

The roast wasn't ready for dinner last night, so we picked up some fresh made North Carolina BBQ from a couple who has set up shop on Main Street. A small trailer with a impressive smoker rigged up next to it. How can you deny the allure of the smoker?

Today we will likely plant some more seeds. It is that time of year and since we missed out on it last year we are looking forward to it all the more now. The trees are blooming, going from bare branches to full blossoms overnight.

I am ok with my head and reality not quite syncing up right now. Both are fantastic worlds to be in.