January comes to a close and I am lost in thought. The past couple of days I have felt unable to do anything, though motivated to do everything. Sometimes I feel locked inside myself. Perhaps I am in deep hibernation, but it is my body that is asleep and my mind that is awake.
I watched Stranger than Fiction the other night and was really impressed by it. It was much better than the fluff piece I thought it would be. I was particularly moved by a line one of the characters says. She says that she decided if she was going to change the world that she would do it through cookies. She has been a student at Harvard and had impressed them with her essay on wanting to change the world. She began baking cookies for her study groups - the result being the number of study partners in the groups got larger and her recipe collection grew and grew ... and she ended the semester with a D-. So she dropped out and opened a bakery. I loved that. Perhaps it is the stay-at-home mom in me who once went the Hollins, but it has struck a chord and remained lodged within me. Ever since watching that movie I have had the urge to bake, but find myself lacking the direction.
Thoughts of food have been consuming me lately (an ironic turn of table?). I'm yearning for more vegetarian meals. Not because I want to become vegetarian, far from it, but because I see how long our meat lasts us now that it isn't something we simply buy at the store. When we run out of beef we will be out until next fall. I worry we will run out. We haven't had the luck of having a deer this year. Since we aren't really buying chicken at all, there is another meat that is mostly lacking from our diet - a meat that used to be a staple. So, I'm longing for good vegetarian meals to help us get through. We, as a people, don't need the amount of meat (nutritionally and wellness speaking) that we are taught to think we do. So I see this as nothing negative, but an oppurtunity to really round out our meal-times.
It is amazing when one day you open your eyes and the world around you is different. When you see it all through new eyes. When you can recognize pivitol moments and be in them. Could this be a sign of the end of hibernation perhaps?