Friday, September 26, 2008

Helter Skelter

I listen to music and watch movies about or from the 60's and the Vietnam War and what was going on in our country around that time. It amazes me how we can have the same feelings, fears and sentiments 40 years later. It amazes me that it was 40 years ago. Then again, I think anytime a country is at war and in a period of upheaval the sentiments and fears are pretty much the same.
I am worried about our economy. Normally you could ask me what my number one "political" (since the election is so close, lets go with that) is and I'd say the environment. And, that still is a high concern, but now it is surpassed by my concern for where the economy is headed.
I don't know the answer. I disagree with the bailout, I don't like government involvement too much, but I do feel that what has been going on has, quite obviously, not been working.
Part of me wishes to see it all crash. Bring it on. The way things have been have been bad and wrong on many levels, so bring it on, let the madness come.
Another part of me is a mom and a wife. Will I be able to take care of my boys and my family? We live a frugal life, and we're lucky for that, as we haven't been affected by the recession as much as others. I study the old ways and we try to live by them, and I think that has been what has helped us out. But even now we're feeling the pinch more and more every day. It scares me.
A mixture of madness & intensity and calmness & breath-holding. I want to blare my music and scream along with the lyrics. I want to be in a dark pub drinking a stout. I want to throw glass and be satisfied with it shattering. I want to bake a loaf of roasted garlic bread. I need a fix because I'm going down. Happiness is a warm body, that I can hold in my arms, and nobody can do me no harm.
Radicalism or pacifism? Is it going to be allright, or is that just something we sing to ourselves over and over as we sing a child a lullaby? I don't know, I don't know.

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