Here is one of the most recent photos of me. The most recent on I have uploaded at least. Not too bad but, like all people (especially women!), I wish it was better.
I've been talking with friends recently about something I read where the role of mother isn't appreciated and respected like it ought to be. Oh sure, we like to think it is but let's face it, if it really was then all those celebrity moms would look like they've given birth. They wouldn't look like they were still 19 when their new baby was only a week old!
I'm not 19, and I am a mother. I have 2 wonderful boys who I stay home with. This I am ok with. I am even ok with, to some extent, the fact that while the left side of my waist has returned to an hourglass shape the right now pooches out. It reminds me of when Shannon was still inside me, sitting at an angle, his butt pushing the right side of my waist out. It's sweet, I can feel that spot and remember him being there.
However, I am not ok with the overall weight gain. The failure to lose the "baby weight." When I was younger I used to waitress. I would walk to work (I lived a block away), be on my feet all day, and then walk home. When I got my first "real" job at an insurance agency I quickly found that sitting on my rump all day not only caused me to gain weight but, to my utter surprise, I was EXHAUSTED!! My energy level just completely dropped!! I've begun to notice something similar. Like many people, I'm spending too much damn time on the computer. I have it set up where it is on all the time, easily accessible at all times. I can check on the kids as needed, do the things that are needed, and still be back online within minutes. I hate to admit the "butt-groove" in the chair is from me. Literally, I need to get off my ass.
We used to belong to the local YMCA but had to drop the membership. 1) They kept raising the costs of membership & we simply couldn't afford it. 2) And the MAIN reason, while they offered day care, the kids kept getting sick. I would go to the Y & take them. I would get to go a couple of times and sure enough, they would catch something. We would wait a week till wellness returned, go again, and watch the cycle repeat. We aren't the only ones who've noticed this, many friends have had the same issues.
So, what to do?? Can't afford the gym membership. Kids are with me all day. There is always something that needs to be done around here. I don't want to get up any earlier than I have to, and though the notion sometimes tempts me, I haven't managed to decide to take away from "down-time" in the evening with Justin to go on walks in the dark.
Here's the goal folks, I'm going to be brave enough to put it out there:
1) Eat More - Eat several smaller meals throughout the day, starting with a proper breakfast. ~ I don't eat enough. I am terrified of eating in front of people because I have always been an Amazon of a chick. Now with the extra weight I know the looks from people when they see me eat - as if I sit around gorging myself all day long.
2) Get Out! - My kids need to be outside, and so do I. This is the REALLY big goal y'all. Get out there and get moving. There are plenty of places to be walked to around here. There is a beloved Duck Pond. There is a river, and to get to that we have to cross railroad tracks .. a very big plus with little boys! There are playgrounds and parks.
How often do I need to get out?? I'd like to say that every single day I'm going to get out for at least some form of a walk with the boys. I'd LOVE to say that, but I'm not going to set a goal that I know I won't reach. So, let's be more realistic shall we???? How about 3 times a week to start with? That sounds reasonable enough.
Like I said, I don't want to look 19 again. Ok, I do - I'd be lying if I said that I really didn't. Part of me REALLY wants that. But, I AM happy with my life now. I am a mother and that is worthy of being respected and admired. My body has born two children, I want to honor that. But I want to be healthy and slim my figure down some.
So here I go, about to hit 'PUBLISH POST' and send this post out there to you all. I am terrified. This is one of those subjects I only talk about with a few people and even then only tell some things to some people. Now I'm going to send it out to everyone. Here we go ...