Wednesday, February 17, 2010


There are some subjects bloggers don't talk about. Well, people don't talk about. Every person has their own personal subjects. Some we'll talk about with certain people, but not with everyone. Some we'll kinda talk about with everyone, but we'll keep most of it to ourselves for whatever reasons .. usually there are a myriad of them. Here is one of mine.

Here is one of the most recent photos of me. The most recent on I have uploaded at least. Not too bad but, like all people (especially women!), I wish it was better.

I've been talking with friends recently about something I read where the role of mother isn't appreciated and respected like it ought to be. Oh sure, we like to think it is but let's face it, if it really was then all those celebrity moms would look like they've given birth. They wouldn't look like they were still 19 when their new baby was only a week old!
I'm not 19, and I am a mother. I have 2 wonderful boys who I stay home with. This I am ok with. I am even ok with, to some extent, the fact that while the left side of my waist has returned to an hourglass shape the right now pooches out. It reminds me of when Shannon was still inside me, sitting at an angle, his butt pushing the right side of my waist out. It's sweet, I can feel that spot and remember him being there.

However, I am not ok with the overall weight gain. The failure to lose the "baby weight." When I was younger I used to waitress. I would walk to work (I lived a block away), be on my feet all day, and then walk home. When I got my first "real" job at an insurance agency I quickly found that sitting on my rump all day not only caused me to gain weight but, to my utter surprise, I was EXHAUSTED!! My energy level just completely dropped!! I've begun to notice something similar. Like many people, I'm spending too much damn time on the computer. I have it set up where it is on all the time, easily accessible at all times. I can check on the kids as needed, do the things that are needed, and still be back online within minutes. I hate to admit the "butt-groove" in the chair is from me. Literally, I need to get off my ass.

We used to belong to the local YMCA but had to drop the membership. 1) They kept raising the costs of membership & we simply couldn't afford it. 2) And the MAIN reason, while they offered day care, the kids kept getting sick. I would go to the Y & take them. I would get to go a couple of times and sure enough, they would catch something. We would wait a week till wellness returned, go again, and watch the cycle repeat. We aren't the only ones who've noticed this, many friends have had the same issues.
So, what to do?? Can't afford the gym membership. Kids are with me all day. There is always something that needs to be done around here. I don't want to get up any earlier than I have to, and though the notion sometimes tempts me, I haven't managed to decide to take away from "down-time" in the evening with Justin to go on walks in the dark.

Here's the goal folks, I'm going to be brave enough to put it out there:

1) Eat More - Eat several smaller meals throughout the day, starting with a proper breakfast. ~ I don't eat enough. I am terrified of eating in front of people because I have always been an Amazon of a chick. Now with the extra weight I know the looks from people when they see me eat - as if I sit around gorging myself all day long.

2) Get Out! - My kids need to be outside, and so do I. This is the REALLY big goal y'all. Get out there and get moving. There are plenty of places to be walked to around here. There is a beloved Duck Pond. There is a river, and to get to that we have to cross railroad tracks .. a very big plus with little boys! There are playgrounds and parks.
How often do I need to get out?? I'd like to say that every single day I'm going to get out for at least some form of a walk with the boys. I'd LOVE to say that, but I'm not going to set a goal that I know I won't reach. So, let's be more realistic shall we???? How about 3 times a week to start with? That sounds reasonable enough.

Like I said, I don't want to look 19 again. Ok, I do - I'd be lying if I said that I really didn't. Part of me REALLY wants that. But, I AM happy with my life now. I am a mother and that is worthy of being respected and admired. My body has born two children, I want to honor that. But I want to be healthy and slim my figure down some.

So here I go, about to hit 'PUBLISH POST' and send this post out there to you all. I am terrified. This is one of those subjects I only talk about with a few people and even then only tell some things to some people. Now I'm going to send it out to everyone. Here we go ...


Carole and Chewy said...

Right there with ya! Especially with time spent in front og the computer cause every minute away from the computer is another book that isn't listed that won't sell that won't produce income. Plus I'm having to re-learn cooking, due to Dh's heart attack last fall -so we are eating a lot healthier, which is suppose to translate into a weight loss or at least feeling better, but so far is just translating into massive suspicion of commercial food production. Wish we were closer -I'd go walking with ya.

Elena said...

I hear ya! I can't believe the way I look. Your braver than me...I wouldn't dare put a full picture of me up. In my mind I'm still the 20-something that wore a size 5....Pfffft! I couldn't get a size 5 on one leg now!

I tried doing the "Skinny Chicks Don't eat Salad Diet" and I did lose 11 pounds in ten days, but then that was it. It got freaking cold out so I stopped walking and then since the night someone tried to break into my house I haven't slept well. So I'm always tired, and eat to give me energy. It's a viscious cycle. As soon as I stopped the diet I put back on 5 pounds. If you read my blog post today you'll see my daughter's suggestion and she's right.

As soon as the weather gets warmer I'm walking by the river again in Salem. This winter has been too damn long and hard and it's making me depressed which doesn't help the weight either!

Carrie and Justin said...

Elena - 20 something AND a size 5?!?! WOW!! When I went from wearing kids' clothes to wearing adults I swear I went straight into a size 6. Seriously, that isn't a joke.
Of course, I'm nearly 6' tall now and pretty damn big boned too. Embodiment of the term "amazon woman".
Now just to try and get back to that more fit image of Amazon Woman. :P