Have you ever woken up with that feeling of impending doom? I know you have, we all have ... right? And you wonder what's going on. What is making you feel this way? So you sit there and ponder it with yourself. Here is how that conversation with yourself might go, or at least how mine is going today:
Wake up full of sadness.
*Well, you did drink last night.*
Yea, maybe that's it. Did I do something stupid?
*I don't think so. But then again, I was drinking too.*
Well, what did I do? Did I say things I shouldn't have?
*Hmm .. you were telling stories from the past. But I'm pretty sure they were funny, so I think you're all good there.*
I probably shouldn't have driven.
*Yea, that part's true. Lucky thing you drink close to home and you weren't really THAT drunk, just a little tipsy drunk. Still though .. no excuse .. shame on you for that one. You're gonna have to just acknowledge it, feel bad about it, be glad nothing bad happened and promise not to do it again.*
Agreed. I promise. Maybe I'm getting older and feeling more responsible.
*Yea, you are old now.*
Shut up, you're not helping.
So .. what else is wrong?? Why the doom?
*Ummm ... it's raining? Don't rainy days make people feel full of doom?*
Not me though, I like the rain.
*Maybe a flood is comin'. Better check on the cows*
Ok, now you're just off your rocker!
I wish Justin had stayed home from work today. Maybe the impending doom is my subconscious knowing he's going to get in a wreck or something.
*Don't say that!! You know he'll be fine. Your subconscious is full of shit.*
You're my subconscious.
*Um .. yea. I meant the other subconscious. You know, like the cartoons, one on each shoulder saying different things.*
So, now I have two of you??
*Quit bugging me, we're trying to figure out the doom. Maybe you're having a heart attack.*
WHAT?!?! OH MY GOD, 'feelings of impending doom' IS A SIGN OF HEART ATTACKS IN WOMEN!!!!! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THIS EARLIER???????
*Wait, don't freak out yet, you'll just give yourself a heart attack.*
DUDE, that is SO NOT FUNNY!!
Quit it!! I might be dying!! Wait ... I saw that Nicole Kidman movie. What the hell was it? 'The Others' maybe?? You know, where they're living their life and in the end it turns out they have been dead all along and just not known it. She killed her kids and everything!
*What? But you didn't kill your kids.*
Yea, but she didn't know that either. Dead people never seem to know they're dead. Haven't you been watching these movies with me?? You're my subconscious!! Aren't you obligated to be there??
*It's not in my contract.*
But in ALL the movies ..... wait .... you have a contract??
*Don't go there. And lay off the thing about the movies. You're just going to give yourself a panic attack and that's going to lead to a heart attack and then you WILL be dead and not even know it!*
Ha, who's crazy now??
*Have you looked up the symptoms for heart attacks in women?*
You know I have!! Why is EVERYTHING a possible symptom for a heart attack in women?!!? Impending doom? Check. Anxiety? Check. Got your period? Check.
*You don't have your period.*
I know, but it's still like a possible heart attack symptom!!
*Now you're just being silly. I think it's that Valium I slipped you.*
You're slipping me Valium now???
*Well, someone needed to. Hell, look at the stuff you're blogging right now.*
Fair enough. Thanks then I guess.
*Hey, Ellie mentioned it might be the robot thing she posted on Facebook the other day. You are pretty scared of robots...*
Impending doom caused by robots?? Sounds plausible. I think I'll run with that.
*I think you should quit this blog post now. People are going to start thinking you're crazy*
You already know that they do.
*True. But still .. knock it off*
~And there you go. The doom spiral conversation. You DO have these with yourself .. right???