Monday, June 7, 2010

Quarantined & Scaring Contractors

There is a very nasty little bug going 'round here. A 12-hour head-in-toilet-every-15-minutes, leaves ya weak for several days afterwards kinda bug . This didn't help:

Thursday night, when the bug hit me, we were watching Transformers 2: Rise of the Fallen. Really, I think the movie is called Transformers 2: Revenge of Megan Fox's T&A! This did NOT help my nausea. C'mon, have some kids and start to sag already dammit!!
After a night spent watching that movie and her bad acting, throwing up every 15 minutes (PLEASE tell me why I didn't just go to bed!!), this is what I felt like the next morning. Or at least what I likely looked like.

There is a plus side to walking around in your pj's, hair half pulled up & half wild from staying in bed, nice & funky from lack of shower, really there is. I am almost 100% certain I scared the guys working on the house. LOTS of work got done on Friday!

Think about it, we always tend to want to look nice when people are over, even if they're doing work for you. We want to be nice & understanding about other things they may have going on that keeps them from always being here or keeps delays happening. Maybe we've got it all backwards!!

Since I am not quite over the bug yet, I am running a test today to test this theory. Hair is still wild and they know we're still funky and not well. I've told them we'll do them a favor and try to stay near the front of the house, but .... hahaha.
I will sneak out there every now and then, under the pretense of walking the pup or something like that. I will not take a shower today. I will not fix my hair. I will wear something comfortable and stained --- not hard to find in my wardrobe, I have an amazing innate ability to stain clothing - seriously, it is a talent, stand in awe bitches!!

I will let you know how my experiment goes. I might not be fuzzy butterfly kitty farts, but I do find a silver-lining in odd situations.

**~ FOLLOW UP NOTE ~** -- I have met my match and will be unable to scare the contractors today. The contractor's newly ex-wife just showed up. And we all know ... there ain't anything scarier than an ex-wife!!!

In all my funked out sickness, in my bleach-spotted tank top, in my wild hair, the EX-WIFE has managed to do what only an ex-wife can do for other women. Make me look like this:

Newly-EX-wives make ANY other woman look like this!! Who needs make-up, dieting, exercises, or anything else when you have ex-wives around?


Carole and Chewy said...

ROFLMAO! Hope you feel better soon!

Lisa said...

OMG! LOL! I am speechless beyond internet shorthand.